Christmas List

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Dear Santa or my boyfriend,

First of all, I can explain about all those times I didn't do the dishes, truth is, it chips your nail polish something awful, BUT I did start recycling. (one bag)

Anyway, I thought I would give you a picture copy of my list as I imagine everyone else just wrote theirs out.

They don't have to be these exact items, it's just a few ideas, as I am sure you don't want to see this face again on Christmas morning..



Don't make me wave my hairbrush at you Santa.

Just a heads up, my favourite colours are BLACK (of course) white, pink and gold - Even better when they are altogether, I  also like polkadots and stripes, and if you're going to get me any chocolate, I prefer dark.




























Happy Shopping S Dawg!


I will most likely see you before Christmas as I have heard you're in a grotto somewhere in Cardiff? 

Anyway, take care and don't go too hard on the cardio before your big night.

 I will make sure Jan puts the fire out early to avoid you burning your trousers.

Lots of Christmas love

Jade

xxx


P.s You don't have to eat the mince pie that I leave for you, it wont be Marks and Sparks finest, so I would probably leave it if I were you.


20 Things That Have Changed Since Leaving Uni

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Mondays are so much worse.



Now as a twenty something, my bag on a night out no longer consists of a little bottle of cheap vodka, a sharpie and £5.

Going out mid week? Sorry, you mean have a hangover on a week day? I don't think so.



A diet that consists of cereal and vodka is no longer acceptable.


Waking up like this on a Sunday morning, with toasted pitta in my bed, a stamp on my hand/face and looking for water is now quite rare.

Never wanting to touch an alcopop, strawpedo or any bright green juice of any kind ever again. (Unless it is a kale smoothie, then I am all about that.)

No more free money. 



Inhaling a bag of skittles at 3am to get you through that deadline. Nowadays at 3am, I have been asleep for 6 hours, not one skittle in sight.


Buying something new every time I went out. Now I have to justify a pair of socks.

Cost per wear is applied to anything and everything I now purchase. 5p bag..go on then I can definitely reuse that one as a rain hat.

Mid afternoon naps are sadly a thing of the past 



Cooking. Who'd have thought that I could rustle up something better than a bowl of cereal in the kitchen?


A month off for Christmas is something we can now only dream of.



Not feeling the need to hide the toilet roll when people come around. Only for people who live here, soz.


Bottles of £2.99 wine for pre drinks with a straw. Never Again.



Being able to put your food ANYWHERE in the fridge, not just the one, tiny, squished shelf that is allocated to you and your spinach.


Waking up and getting ready in the morning is not as easy as it used to be.

Running out of bread. In desperate times, one of the many cupboards before, would have contained someone's bread. Now when it's gone, ITS GONE. You can search all the cupboards but you won't find any.


Experimenting with all the different shampoos in the shower, now it's just the one that you buy. How boring.

Carnage (Or Cornage in Cornwall) and always managing to wake up with a permanent marker dick on your face that won't come off for days. Who is the infamous dick drawer? 


What wonderful years of cereal, whiskers and hangovers, but now give me a cup of tea and some fluffy socks any day.

xxx

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